As I worked in my sweatpants again for about the 300th straight day, I sent the following email in response to a lead who asked if I could support their company’s WordPress site:

Marie, Yes! WordPress Security & Maintenance is our core business. I’m also personally obsessed with improving WordPress’ load times (here’s my obnoxiously-long and scientifically-sourced treatise on the subject). Side note: I gotta say…the “15-out-of-100” that Google is giving your website [link] makes me want to dive in and speed things up…but I’m getting ahead of myself…

Would you like to converse? If so, add to my calendar [link].

Toby

Too colloquial? I don’t know…I’m tired of bullshit these days and want to work with others who are tired of bullshit. It’s honest – I am obsessed with Google’s Pagespeed rankings! It’s dumb – Who wants to work with someone who can’t even avoid run-on sentences in emails? It’s serious – I do want to help others who want me to help them do the boring fringe WordPress maintenance stuff. So here’s yet another non-SEO’d, non-business-enhancing, whatevs blah blah blah post for ya.

Sorry not sorry, Yoast SEO.

If you see me without a customer in a year, you’ll know why.