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As I worked in my sweatpants again for about the 300th straight day, I sent the following email in response to a lead who asked if I could support their company’s WordPress site:

Marie, Yes! WordPress Security & Maintenance is our core business. I’m also personally obsessed with improving WordPress’ load times (here’s my obnoxiously-long and scientifically-sourced treatise on the subject). Side note: I gotta say…the “15-out-of-100” that Google is giving your website makes me want to dive in and speed things up…but I’m getting ahead of myself…

Would you like to converse? If so, add to my calendar .


Too colloquial? I don’t know…I’m tired of bullshit these days and want to work with others who are tired of bullshit. It’s honest – I am obsessed with Google’s Pagespeed rankings! It’s dumb – Who wants to work with someone who can’t even avoid run-on sentences in emails? It’s serious – I do want to help others who want me to help them do the boring fringe WordPress maintenance stuff. So here’s yet another non-SEO’d, non-business-enhancing, whatevs blah blah blah post for ya.

Sorry not sorry, Yoast SEO.

If you see me without a customer in a year, you’ll know why.